Do we make mountains out of mole hills?
I recently was telling my brother about a guy i was interested in and how frustrated I was. This guy says to me how he wants to take me on a date and get to know each other and etc. and then I wouldn’t hear from him again until I initiated a conversation first. Pretty reasonable thing to be frustrated about, right? I feel like if a guy truly and honestly wanted to see you, he would make the time to see you. He would not say “oh, i’m sorry i haven’t called you or texted you I just have been so busy.” Let’s just cut to the chase and say “I may be interested but I’m not interested enough to drop even the tiniest thing i’m doing to go see you”. Does that sound about right? I am so sick of the busy excuse. This summer I worked almost 55 hours a week, every week, and also worked approximately 8 hours at my internship a week as well. Even with working all of the time I would have made time to see this guy. When i like someone, it’s so rare. So when people tell me they’ve been busy and that’s why they haven’t contacted you, it really just turns me off because even the busiest people make time. It’s just the way of life, you find the balance between being busy and spending time with the person you claim you want to get to know better. My question is, Do we make mountains out of molehills? should i not be upset about this? my brother says that girls are in their heads too much. He may be onto something but if the tables were turned he would def be frustrated as well. What are your thoughts?
if a guy was really into you, he wouldn’t get distracted so easily.
My views on dating are somewhat, twisted, i guess you could say. Like most girls, I have trust issues. Not because I have been cheated on. I have technically been cheated on but to be cheated on requires them to be your boyfriend in the most sense and I, the blogger, has never really had a real boyfriend. I have talked to guys and been serious (exclusive, as in we’re together and are leading to dating but it hasn’t happened yet) and then found out they were two-timing me, so I reckon’ that is cheating as well because I definitely felt cheated. Shocker? It is really rare that i openly come out and talk about this part of my life. But i think it is very healthy to get your feelings to the surface and wear your heart on your sleeve so even if no one reads this, I am making myself more healthy by writing it.
Relationships these days make me scared to venture into a relationship of my own. Idk, it’s the fact that girls most of the time think without having a boyfriend their life is not complete. Or that they have to get married before they’re 22 or they failed. Or that when they are in a relationship the guy can control they’re every fucking move and they’re okay with that? The relationships that I see around me is this: 1) girl and boy been together 4+ years, girl is so comfortable with boy that she literally cannot do anything by herself anymore. What happened to independence? … 2) girl married boy way too soon. Girl unhappy with boy but will never leave because she’s scared to be single again. Girl and Boy has been unhappily married for 3 years now. 3) girl and boy together for 5 years. Girl cheating on boy, boy wants to get married to girl, has no idea of the cheating. Girl says she is going to marry boy and keep cheating….Should i go on?
all this and more scare the shit out of me. why would I ever put myself in a relationship when half the world doesn’t even know how to be in one? who says that being single isn’t what’s best?
I realize I am commitaphobic. I am scared of commitment to the point that I am fearful I will be alone forever. I go on dates, I really put my faith in humanity out there and believe that everything I mentioned above is just within the individual and not the population, that maybe I will live happily ever after with my prince charming. I do believe in fairy tales, fyi. It may seem like I am a cynic and i’ll grow old with my cats but I do believe in them.
But in Disney movies there is no cheating, no players, no liars, no jealousy, no control issues, it’s just romanticism and dreams.
The only thing that takes me out of the common day relationship mindset and puts me back in the optimistic view is that once in a blue moon I see a couple that really and truly love each other. They trust each other, are there for each other, accept them for who they are and not for who they want them to be, they are open and honest with them, they stick by them.
So I guess what I am trying to say is through all of my issues with committing and relationships in general, I really do think one day I will find the man of my dreams and live happily with him. Just because I am 21 and have not had a real relationship does not make me any less of a person because you know what? i have done some pretty amazing things that a lot of people do no get to do. I have been a counselor at a Muscular Dystrophy camp and helped put a smile on all of those amazing kids. I have traveled city to city, state to state modeling, meeting people near and far and gotten to really break out of my shell. I have shadowed and interned at many hospitals, clinics, and nursing homes learning more and more about health and the body furthering my knowledge for Physical Therapy school down the road. I have gotten to be with my Grandmother in her Alzheimer’s process for the last 5 years, stick by her no matter if she’s having a good or bad day.
would it be nice to have a guy there at the end of the day? sure. I’d be stupid to say no. But i am glad that i am independent enough to not rely on one. I thank my mother for that.
I believe in butterfly’s when you meet someone new, excitement when you know you are about to go on a date with him for the first time. I believe he is feeling the same way i feel. I believe in companionship and compatibility.
So cheers to throwing out all of the commitaphobe issues and really allowing myself to be with someone! it may not be soon, hell it may be next year but I know that I am able to now.
and if you ever need relationship advice you can always come to me. super experienced. haha jk :) peace and love!
you know those butterflies that get into your stomach when you’re excited/nervous for something? can’t wait to hang out with him.
but i’m also hoping i don’t do anything embarrassing like trip, stutter, etc. My face will be massively red. wish me luck:)
Kate Lawson
As independent as i am, sometimes i wish at the end of the day i had someone to call when i have great news or i’m upset, or angry. A boyfriend, someone i’ve bonded with. It would be nice to have a mans opinion and also have him to celebrate with or to help me get through the tough time, or tell me when i’m being too rash if i am. It can’t be just any guy, i have tons of guy friends, but someone who knows me best, has seen my ups and downs, been with me through thick and thin.
I can’t wait to find that.
hopeful Kate
seriously all guys are liars. I haven’t met any in a super long time that is actually legit. they all cheat. they all lie. where are all the good men? did they fall off the earth? eww.
Age-related differences in muscle fatigue. coming soon.
Ashley Leazer Photography :)
I love how as we get older our dating life matures as well. When you’re ten and you have a crush on a boy you may sit together at lunch and then to every other classmate that means you two are dating. It’s simple as that. When you hit middle school you get your mom or dad to drop you off at the movies to meet the other person or he/she comes over to your house and you have a chaperoned date. As soon as you get your driver’s license then that’s when your dating life really gets that green light to “go”. You can go do things on your own, make your own decisions, and be your own person in the relationship. But when you turn 21 and hit that adult status dates can be, “Do you want to go get a drink after work?” or “Let’s meet up for coffee and talk”. It’s sort of fun to progress into every realm of the dating world, it’s not so fun to see when girls/boys progress too soon and they try to hurry up things that shouldn’t be hurried. I blame TV for that J
I just recently went on a first date with this guy. It was only going “so-so” until he said something that really intrigued me and then from that moment on I was hooked. There’s always one deciding moment when deciding whether someone sparks your interest or not. Whether it be a funny joke, just a look they give you, a gesture, a response to something you say, whatever. The point of this is that sometimes we try to force that moment because we really want it to be there and it’s just not. i’m guilty of it too. I make excuses where there should not be one. There are so many guys/girls out there and if you leave that date and you really just don’t feel like “I def wanna see him again”…so don’t force it. let it happen naturally. :)